The Truth is Out There. Like, REALLY Out There

Did you know that reptiles are a cursed part of the animal kingdom? They actually fell along with Satan. That's why Satan tempted Eve in the form of a serpent. Actually, Satan controls most of the world indirectly through shape-shifting reptilian demons from Jupiter. The United States made a treaty with these beings shortly after the Roswell incident and built cities for them deep underground in Nevada. This has something to do with Area 51. There are government officials who work in the upper layers of the cities, but they don't see the reptilians very often because they keep to the lowermost layers. Once a reptilian got off on the wrong elevator stop, though. Another time one was spotted at a mall in Salt Lake.


The reptilians are working together with the greys. The greys are what you think of when you picture a classic alien: big almond-shaped eyes, a head like an upside-down pear, and a forehead big enough to fry an egg. They're demons, too. The greys abduct people in their flying saucers and do experiments on them and harvest their gametes. It's all part of Satan's plan to introduce so much fallen angel DNA into the human race that humans are no longer really human. Then they can no longer be saved for God's Kingdom. This is just like what happened before the flood, when fallen angels came to earth and had children with the daughters of men (Genesis 6). The human genetic line became so corrupt that God had to send a flood to destroy everyone but Noah's family. As it was in the days of Noah, so shall it be in the last days. Hence the work of the greys and the reptilians. Be on your guard! And for the love of all that is good and true, don't get your vaccinations because that's how the reptilian government is introducing fallen angel DNA into humanity.

All of this is according to Bill Schnoebelen, a professing born-again Christian. He also claims to have been a Satanist, a Druid high priest, a Freemason, a Mormon, a Vampire, a Witch, a Catholic Bishop, a member of the Illuminati, a UFO abductee, and Santa Claus prior to his conversion.

Schnoebelen: "The forbidden fruit was a grape."

Ok, so I was kidding about the Santa Claus part. But he really does claim to have been all those other things. - even a vampire. You can actually buy a 9-hour DVD on his web-site called Interview With an Ex-Vampire. During his vampire-days, he says he lived off the blood of witches. He never turned into a bat, though. Vampires don't actually do that (don't be silly!).

I was unfamiliar with Schnoebelen until a friend showed me a recording of him speaking at something called The Prophecy Club. I was fascinated. Who is this man? Does he really believe what he's saying? Is he sane? What motivates him? I must know! 

Since then I have done some online research on Schnoebelen, and the more I learn the weirder it gets. Schnoebelen believes that the KJV is the only Bible Christians should use and even goes so far as to refer to the NIV translation as an "occult book" that is dangerous to have in your home. He also believes that Pokemon are demons in disguise and that God wants all men to have beards. Don't even get him started on Harry Potter. 

After reading some of the articles on Schnoebelen's website, I have a hard time believing he isn't in his right mind. He knows how to compose a persuasive essay and how to use Scripture to make his points. If he is spreading false information, I think he knows exactly what he's doing. He may be morally insane, but I don't think he is psychologically insane. 

I've concluded that, whatever Bill Schnoebelen's deal is, the guy makes a compelling case for the existence of dark spiritual forces. On one hand, you have the highly unlikely possibility that everything he is saying is true, in which case demons really are abducting people, living among us, working in collusion with the US government, and deceiving the world through seemingly benign institutions. If he really has been a part of all these secret societies - and if the undercurrent of all these societies really is honest-to-goodness devil-worship - then the world is filled with restless evil indeed. 

On the other hand, if Bill Schnoebelen is a con-artist - an intelligent man who uses his spiritually diverse history to gain power and influence among people in the Christian community - then we have evidence of a more subtle, and perhaps even more nefarious, evil. It is bad enough for a person to base his entire financial livelihood on the spread of outlandish lies, but it is wickedness of a special kind that does this in the name of Jesus, preying on the simple faith of people through careful manipulation of their sacred text. If Bill Schnoebelen really did make a conscious decision - after years of involvement in spiritual communities Christians wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole - to use his unique position to exploit ignorance for financial gain - then that is a truly sinister form of evil. Perhaps even demonic. 

Even if the stuff Bill Schnoebelen talks about really does exist, do we really need to be worried about UFOs, the illuminati, and underground Satanist cults? I'll admit I'm curious about these things, but what I really need to be concerned about is the darkness that exists in my own heart. What is darker and creepier? A demonic being that abducts you in his spaceship or a man who lies to you and mocks the sacred for the purpose of lining his pockets? Certainly the first makes a better campfire story, but I don't know if it's darker than the second. It's just less familiar. 

In 1973, young evangelical named Mike Warnke published The Satan Seller - a book that became a religious bestseller and established Warnke as an expert on Satanism. The autobiography detailed Warnke's disturbing journey into and out of a Satanist cult. Throughout most of the 70s and 80s (and during the height of the Satanism scare), Warnke was a "successful" Christian evangelist, comedian, and occult expert. But in the early 90s, the Christian magazine Cornerstone did a thorough investigation of his claims and found irrefutable evidence of fraud and deceit. Warnke was exposed as a liar, and his "ministry" closed its doors shortly afterward.

Prophet or liar? In Warnke's case, he was found to be a liar.  

And Bill Schnoebelen? I suspect the same. But, either way, there is darkness afoot. Either way the world is a battleground between the forces of good and the forces of evil. Either way, we're in a war.

Guard us against deceit. James 1:16.